Freestyle # 12
It's snowing outside. The white flurries pass across my vision and it's a warm snow, a silent snow. I feel like standing underneath these white clouds and claiming my redemption, my salvation. I feel like I've dissapointed someone, God? Sometimes I don't know what the hell I'll ever believe in. I can't say I believe in anything, because I believe in the possibility of everything. It torments Joshua, and it's something he hates. I don't know what to do this year at christmas time... I hate being split in two. I don't even feel like celebrating anything now, I just feel like dying. I betrayed myself. What is it? Why does religion have to be so important? I grew up in somewhat of a pagan background, and I believe in a lot of those things, but I don't close my mind to other things. I am open to believing anything, because I'll never know what is real. I haven't met any religion where I find it in my heart, that faith. There is nothing there. I'm scared sometimes that this my hurt my relationship with Joshua because he believes so strongly in his religion, and often times he judges me for what I can't feel. I don't exactly know where I stand. I wish organized religion didn't exist.
posted by Kasey @ 12/07/2005 11:43:00 AM
1 Comments:
Sounds real, sounds difficult, sounds like a situation where tolerance and a willingness to live and let live will save the day. But not easy, no.
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